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Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Starting Over

The New Year always brings thoughts and plans for change. For me, this New Year has brought a huge change that hit me out of nowhere. I have been married for 5 1/2 years and have a 10-month-old baby boy who is the light of my life. However, the past month has revealed not just a crack, but a gaping canyon in my perfect facade of a family. My husband loves another woman.

I have spent the last month reeling and just attempting to function in the wake of this destruction. I don't know if there are any other mommies out there dealing with similar situations, but I wanted to pass on a few things I have learned so far. I am still mired in this horrible situation, and I don’t know what the end result might be. However, this is what I know for now.
  • Have a good friend to confide in. Make sure that there is one person that you can go to, because if you keep it to yourself, you will go crazy. The depression threatens to overwhelm with no one to share the burden. Also, keep in mind that professionals are available, able, and willing to help as well.

  • Don't do anything out of spite. This is really hard to do, but very important. Keep in mind who you are and what kind of person you want to be known as. I don't want to be the kind of person who spitefully gets back at people, no matter what they have done to me. I want it to be known that I handle myself with grace and class. That is also setting the best example for my son. Don't get me wrong on this, though, I don't mean you should lay down and let anyone do anything they want to you. Just make sure to think before you act, and take action that is beneficial to you and won't hurt your cause or image.

  • Step back and analyze without emotion. This is another step that is difficult, but must be done. I have had to take my emotions out of the equation and take an objective look at the situation. I have to make decisions based on what is realistic, and think about what is best for my son. I have to be able to make a budget to determine how to make it balance. I have to be able to figure out the best way to handle things that will make the most sense in the long run. I have to make sure that no matter what happens in the end, the toll on my son is minimized.

  • Keep it close. It is hard not to shout from the rooftops what a @#$* someone is when they wrong you. However, it does no good to spread your business to the world. It can also come back to bite you in the backside. That's why it is good to have a few close folks to confide in, and to keep it from the majority of the world.

  • Research the options. It is extremely beneficial to know what laws or ordinances may pertain in the situation. There are many good resources available online or locally, so make sure to look at what is out there. This also pertains to financial information. Always keep all options in mind, and know who you can turn to in a pinch.
I hope no one has to ever go through what is going on in my life right now, but I know that it is unfortunately all too common. I have learned some lessons I never wished to learn, but I share them with the desire to help others who may go through the same trials.

Post submitted by Erin from The Mommies Network's Content Team

1 comment :

  1. The weekday reckons in the creature. Katia at two months escapes her impulse. The observer pinches the parent. Why does a quiz shine with katia at two months ?

    ReplyDelete

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