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Making and Keeping Friends at Different Stages of Life

Friendships are often one of the most enjoyable and fulfilling parts of our lives. Not only do they provide us with company to engage in enjoyable activities, but they enrich our lives through shared meaning. Support systems have been linked to higher levels of happiness and improved overall health. While some friendships may only last for certain periods of time, others extend over a lifetime, and most of us recognize these relationships as some of the most important we will have. Even for people who generally feel they don't have trouble making friends, there are stages in life when this task may seem more difficult, leaving us feeling lonely or doubting our abilities to connect to others. If this feels like it is true for you, or you've noticed that this might be the case for your child, here are some ideas that might help in this process.

Children
With all the exciting activities that occur at this age, children may feel overwhelmed with the task of fitting in with their peers. Although you want their education to come first, making friends is most likely to be at the top of their agenda, and is also important to their development. Here are a few ways you can help your children establish relationships with their peers:

1. Teach your child important social skills that are essential to establishing and maintaining friendships such as sharing, listening, following rules, and playing fair. Allow your child to participate in events and activities that enable them to practice and implement these social skills. You can reinforce positive social interactions through verbal praise and, if this is something that is a real challenge for your child, through a structured reward system.

2. Provide opportunities for your child to play and socialize with other children their age such as play dates, sleepovers, car pooling, and extra-curricular activities. They should interact with their peers from school and in your neighborhood.

3. Read books with your children that teaches them about friendships and social skills.

4. It isn't uncommon for children to be timid or anxious about making friends. Be attentive to any red flags that your child may display that could indicate he or she is having trouble such as throwing tantrums, withdrawal from you more than is normal for them, or other changes in behavior or emotions.

Teenagers
During the teenage years, your son or daughter will encounter many possibilities to make friends such as participating in athletics, attending school events, and participating in extracurricular school activities. This is also a time when 'fitting in' and feeling connected to peers seems the most important to them, so not feeling part of a group or connected to people can feel especially difficult during these years. Here are some ways to help your teen navigate their social world:

1. Let your teen see how you interact with your friends. Because they are entering the young adult phase, it is important for them to see examples of mature, adult interactions. This can also help your teen better understand how positive friendships in adulthood look. If they are willing to go, take your teen to lunch with you and a friend.

2. Encourage your teen to partake in social activities that would enable him or her to meet other teens. This can include going to the movies, attending a dance, or eating dinner with a group of their peers. You can use your home as a 'safe' location for teens to hang out, yet still have adult supervision, by giving them a private area or room to spend time.

3. Talk to your teen about the meaning and importance of friendships. Discuss what makes someone a "good friend" and how to resolve conflicts and/or manage meaningful friendships they may have with others.

4. Monitor how your teen interacts with their friends. If you feel he or she is in an unhealthy relationship with one of their peers, attempt to provide guidance.

Post college-graduates
The college years provide young adults with numerous opportunities to meet new people as well as gain unique experiences. However, upon graduating, many people find it difficult or overwhelming with having to "start over" and meet new people, especially when relocating to a new town or city. Here are some ways that might help you connect to others after college:

1. Get involved in your local community. Join clubs, teams, or other extra-curricular and/or service based groups that allow you to meet and interact with others on a weekly basis. Working with others to reach a common goal is a great way to connect, and takes some of the pressure off this process, as you already share a common interest.

2. Invite people to engage in some sort of activity such as going to lunch, getting coffee or a drink, or hanging out at your place.

3. If you're shy or lacking in confidence, don't be discouraged because these feelings are not uncommon. Talk to someone else who has dealt with this stage of life, too.

Adulthood
As we enter adulthood, we often feel settled into patterns of making and maintaining friendships. However, many people feel dissatisfied with their outlets for social connection or the number of people to whom they truly feel close. When we are set in our ways, we can lack imagination regarding ways and places to connect to others. Here are some ideas about how to connect to new friends as adults:

1. Attend functions in your community that cater to something you are interested in but may not have tried before. This enables you to interact with people who you will begin to see on a regular basis. This could be joining a local charity with regular volunteer hours, or taking classes at a community center.

2. Join a group that involves doing something you enjoy yet keeps you active such as a yoga class or a golf club. This allows you to meet people with common interests, providing conversation starters that help take the pressure off the anxiety provoking introduction and connection process.

3. Invite family over for dinner. You can consider choosing members you feel most close or comfortable with or those who you want to get to know better, and set a theme for a dinner party. If you are in a relationship, consider having favorite members of both yours and your partner's family over together. This can deepen pre-existing relationships and lead to more regular family events and connections.

If you find your child or yourself having a little more difficulty making friends than you would like, speaking with a psychologist may help identify barriers and provide ideas for help moving past them.

Written by:  Lepage Associates Solution-Based Psychological and Psychiatric Services, 5842 Fayetteville Road, Suite 106, Durham, NC 27713  www.lepageassociates.com

Tips for Controlling First-Born Jealousy

Think about it: Before the baby entered your family, your toddler was told he’d have a wonderful little brother to play with, and how much fun it would be. Then the little brother is born and your toddler is thinking, “Are you kidding me? This squirming, red-faced baby that takes up all your time and attention is supposed to be FUN?” He then “plays” with the baby in the only ways he knows how. He plays catch. You yell at him for throwing toys at the baby. He plays hide-and-seek. You yell at him to get the blanket off the baby. He gives the kid a hug, and you admonish him to be more careful. Is it any wonder that your toddler is confused?

Teach: Your first goal is to protect the baby. Your second, to teach your older child how to interact with his new sibling in proper ways. You can teach your toddler how to play with the baby in the same way you teach him anything else. Talk to him, demonstrate, guide and encourage. Until you feel confident that you’ve achieved your second goal, however, do not leave the children alone together. Yes, I know. It isn’t convenient. But it is necessary, maybe even critical.

Hover: Whenever the children are together, “hover” close by. If you see your child about to get rough, pick up the baby and distract the older sibling with a song, a toy, an activity or a snack. This action protects the baby while helping you avoid a constant string of “Nos,” which may actually encourage the aggressive behavior.

Teach soft touches: Teach the older sibling how to give the baby a back rub. Tell how this kind of touching calms the baby, and praise the older child for a job well done. This lesson teaches the child how to be physical with the baby in a positive way.

Act quickly: Every time you see your child hit, or act roughly with the baby, act quickly. You might firmly announce, “No hitting, time out.” Place the child in a time-out chair with the statement, “You can get up when you can use your hands in the right way.” Allow him to get right up if he wants – as long as he is careful and gentle with the baby. This isn’t punishment, after all. It’s just helping him learn that rough actions aren’t going to be permitted.

Demonstrate: Children learn what they live. Your older child will be watching as you handle the baby and learning from your actions. You are your child’s most important teacher. You are demonstrating in everything you do, and your child will learn most from watching you.

Praise: Whenever you see the older child touching the baby gently, make a positive comment. Make a big fuss about the important “older brother.” Hug and kiss your older child and tell him how proud you are.

Watch your words: Don’t blame everything on the baby. “We can’t go to the park; the baby’s sleeping.” “Be quiet, you’ll wake the baby.” “After I change the baby I’ll help you.” At this point, your child would just as soon sell the baby! Instead, use alternate reasons. “My hands are busy now.” “We’ll go after lunch.” “I’ll help you in three minutes.”

Be supportive: Acknowledge your child’s unspoken feelings, such as “Things sure have changed with the new baby here. It’s going to take us all some time to get used to this.” Keep your comments mild and general. Don’t say, “I bet you hate the new baby.” Instead, say, “It must be hard to have Mommy spending so much time with the baby.” or “I bet you wish we could go to the park now, and not have to wait for the baby to wake up.” When your child knows that you understand her feelings, she’ll have less need to act up to get your attention.

Give extra love: Increase your little demonstrations of love for your child. Say extra I love yous, increase your daily dose of hugs, and find time to read a book or play a game. Temporary regressions or behavior problems are normal, and can be eased with an extra dose of time and attention.

Get ‘em involved: Teach the older sibling how to be helpful with the baby or how to entertain the baby. Let the older sibling open the baby gifts and use the camera to take pictures of the baby. Teach him how to put the baby’s socks on. Let him sprinkle the powder. Praise and encourage whenever possible.

Making each feel special: Avoid comparing siblings, even about seemingly innocent topics such as birth weight, when each first crawled or walked, or who had more hair! Children can interpret these comments as criticisms.

Take a deep breath and be calm. This is a time of adjustment for everyone in the family. Reduce outside activities, relax your housekeeping standards, and focus on your current priority, adjusting to your new family size.

Originally posted on TriadMommies.blogspot.com

Licky's Family Gardens (Part 5)

Our gardening journey continues!

Matt and I have learned a few lessons along our gardening adventures, and I expect many more are heading our way - but so far, things are growing quite steadily, and that's all we could have asked for in our inaugural season.





Check us out! A growing garden! Can you see our mesh? I know it's a little difficult to make it out - but it's there. As I mentioned before, we weren't sure how to attach it in a way that would allow for easy access. We still didn't figure that out, so we just used a few stakes in each of the corners, and some zip ties around the pipe arches to hold it in place.

One morning, we woke up to find that two of our tomato plants had been attacked. We had quite a lot of luck with animals avoiding the garden until this point, so we panicked to get the mesh into place that day. It's not a permanent solution - we still need to take it all apart to weed & then put it back together (which is a pain!), but it works for now. And, actually, the weeds haven't been too terrible, so it doesn't have to be done very often.

The last glimpse you had of the gardens were with pictures taken on May 21st. So, check out the progress we've made in the last three weeks!




Left: May 21st, Right: June 9th

Even more impressive is the left side of the garden! Granted, those plants have had an extra three weeks of growing, but even considering that - they are monstrous!

Left, May 21st, Right: June 9th

Can you even tell what's going on there?! It's outta control! Ahh! It was really kind of alarming to me how quickly the broccoli and lettuce grew - one day they were just healthy little plants, and the next they were mutant bushes!





Here's a closer look. See how huge the lettuce is?! It's so big, it's getting smushed by mesh! We weren't sure when to start taking leaves from them, but now that they're getting to this point we're picking some here and there. It's really quite strong tasting - but when you put it on sandwiches and burgers, you don't notice it as much.





I had my husband and son pick a few leaves for BLTs for dinner last night - look at how HUGE the individual leaves are! One of them feeds all three of us on sandwiches! It's really rewarding to eat something that you grew yourself!




Here's a glimpse at one of our growing broccoli crowns!



And here's a look at how the herb garden is growing. This was taken last night just before watering so it looks a bit dry. Everything has grown a bit! We've used the mint leaves in two batches of sun tea, and included some of the parsley in my turkey burgers. Yum! (PS, that sad looking un-planted bunch sitting there is what's left of our red onion bulbs that are still buried in the container they came in. We need to find a place to stick them so they can get growing!)

So yes, things are moving along - and far better than we could have hoped for with such a raw knowledge of gardening. The season is very young, and any number of things could come our way - drought, bugs, and just plain dud plants - so we're not getting overly confident just yet.

We did learn that we need some more room for our lettuce and broccoli next time. They obviously haven't been hindered in their growth, so I don't think the usage of soil was a bad thing - but they simply don't have a lot of room left to grow! Since we're now eating the lettuce here and there, it may clear up a little more space for the rest of the season, but it's a good note for next year. We also need to find better solutions to holding the mesh in place. We never did end up with carrots or pumpkins because we ran out of room, but I know you can plant carrots successfully late in the season, so depending on what we use up this month, maybe we'll add those. I'll have to research pumpkins a bit - I think it would be fun for our little man to pick his own - even if they're small guys.

We definitely need more room for next year, but I'm happy with our small successes so far.

Yay for gardening!

Menu Monday: Kettle Corn

I was amazed at how easy and fast this was, I was more amazed at how easy the clean up is! I thought for sure with oil and sugar I'd be scrubbing a pot after I was done, but not at all! There was hardly a stuck on mess. This is such an inexpensive snack. Sure it isn't the most healthy but hot kettle corn with that caramelized sugar crunch is SO good fresh.

1/2 cup popping corn

1/4 cup vegetable oil- It seems like a lot but not in the end.

3 tablespoons sugar

kosher salt

two oven mitts or pot holders

a big pot with a lid (I used a 5 qt dutch oven and it was perfect)

Measure everything out and set it aside. Once you start it's hard to measure things, it moves quickly.

Add oil to the pot and heat it on medium high, make sure the oil get hot but not burning. Add the popcorn. SPRINKLE in the sugar over top (do not dump it in a big pile). Place the lid on top of the pot and start moving the pot around. The oven mitts help with the heat. The corn will start popping, once it slows down you are done. With a big metal serving spoon stir to bring up some of the sugar and coat the rest of the popcorn if needed.  *I forgot to tell you to salt the popcorn at this point* SO good served right away.

Post provided by the Please Give Peas a Chance Blog.

Frugal Living: Budget Friendly Dates

I strongly believe it is important for every couple to have time together without children underfoot. Like a garden, a marriage needs to be tended. Both need to be fed and watered and given attention. The weeds need to be pulled and the disagreements worked out. If either is ignored, they will suffer and eventually perish.
You can reconnect with your partner without spending a massive amount of money. Think outside the box. A date does not have to be dinner at an expensive restaurant.

At Home Dates


You can spend little to no money by having a date at home with that special someone. Put the kids to bed early and the two of you can be all alone.

- Spread out a blanket on the living room floor and have a picnic inside. Turn the lights down low, light some candles, play some soft music and talk to your sweetie.

-Have movie night at home. Get a movie from Red Box or Blockbuster Express for $1 (or free if you have a code). If you have a Netflix membership, order a movie in advance or watch an instant Netflix movie. If none of these options are available to you, many libraries also loan out movies to their patrons for no charge. Pop some popcorn and snuggle with your loved one.

-Break out the games. If you and your significant other enjoy board games, gather a few of your favorite games and have your own mini-tournament at the dining room table. My husband and I like to quiz each other using the Trivial Pursuit cards without playing the entire game. Make up your own rules. You can – you are a grown-up!

-Plan a spa night. Run a bubble bath. Pour a sparkly beverage. Bring out the body lotion and give each other massages.

-Play 20 questions. Whether you are newlyweds or have been together for decades, chances are there is something you do not know about each other. Take time to think about the questions and write them down ahead of time. Sit down together and listen, really listen, as you ask each other the questions aloud.

Out on the Town Dates

You can have a date out of the house without spending too much money. Many people spend the majority of their date money on babysitting, so send the kids off to Grandma’s house or organize a baby-sitting swap with a friend.

-Go to a bookstore and browse the books and magazines. Sit in the café and sip a drink. Maybe even share a dessert together.

-Plan your date for the afternoon. Take a walk in the park, while you hold hands and talk. You will spend nothing, get some exercise and breathe in some fresh air. Studies show that talking while walking side by side enhances communication because the conversation is viewed as more casual and less threatening.

-Plan a late night date after dinner and go out for drinks and dessert. You still get to treat yourselves, but you will spend less than if you were to go out for dinner.

-If you and your honey are sports fans, check out a local high school game or minor league event. You get the excitement that comes with watching live action at a fraction of the cost.

-Go to the mall. Before you go, vow not to buy anything and stick to it. (Skip this one if you do not have the willpower. ) My husband and I like to play the hat game in the department stores. We try silly hats on each other and model them. We get a good laugh and it costs nothing. You can sample the perfumes and colognes while there too.

-Check out local Open Houses. Dress up in your best outfits and check the realty section. Spend the day giggling at stranger’s decorating choices and find new ideas for your own abode.

-If you and your loved one are wine fans, take a tour of a local winery. Many offer tours and tastings for free and throw in advice as well.

Whatever you chose to do, whether it is at home or out on the town, have fun with it. Rejoice in spending time with your loved one. The morning will come soon enough and life will return to its normal crazy state.

Melissa Thornton is a moderator for TriangleMommies.com and shares tips at https://www.facebook.com/triangletips

Keep Baby Safe and Cool on Hot Summer Days

When it comes to keeping baby cool during the heat of the summer, it's all up to the grownups.

"Unlike adults, babies cannot tell us they are thirsty," said Ann Keppler, a Seattle registered nurse, parent educator and co-author of "The Simple Guide to Having a Baby", "They aren't able to take off their clothing if they are hot, turn on a fan, open a window or move to a cooler spot."

So as the mercury rises, moms and other caretakers need to be on high alert for situations that can cause infants to overheat-especially because experts believe that there is a connection between overheated babies and sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). In a study presented last year by scientists at Dartmouth Medical School, researchers working with baby pigs found that increasing their body temperature by just four or five degrees resulted in breathing problems.

Other researchers believe that overheated infants suffering "thermal stress" has been a long-ignored problem in the United States. In a 2003 survey commissioned by the Foundation for the Study of Infant Deaths, researchers discovered that "56 percent of the parents didn't know the correct temperature at which to keep the room where their baby sleeps."

Children are especially susceptible to heat stroke, say experts, because their core body temperature rises three to five times faster than that of adults. The SIDS Alliance advises parents and caregivers to be alert for these signs of overheating: sweating, damp hair, heat rash, rapid breathing and restlessness.

Author Keppler offers these tips for keeping your baby safe and cool during the summer:

Dress your infant in light-colored, loose-fitting, lightweight cotton clothing. If your baby shows signs of overheating, remove all clothing except the diaper and gently wipe his/her body with a cool, damp washcloth. Then move your baby to the coolest setting possible-a room with air conditioning or a fan.

Make sure your baby is getting enough to drink. If your baby is breastfed or formula fed, feed him/her often and check for lots of wet diapers. If your baby is old enough to eat table foods, offer cool water in a sippy cup or bottle.

When you are outside, keep your baby in the shade as much as possible. Use strollers with a cover. If your baby is in the sun, cover the head with a wide-brimmed hat that protects baby's face and the back of the neck.

There are sunglasses available for infants. Buy the type that provide 99 percent to 100 percent UVA and UVB protection.

The American Academy of Pediatrics does not recommend the use of sunscreens before 6 months of age. However, it states that "parents can apply a minimal amount of sunscreen to small areas, such as the infant's face and the back of the hands."

Never leave an infant or child alone in a hot car. Every year, infants and children die needlessly from deadly overheating.

If your baby develops signs of heatstroke (rapid rise of body temperature over 100 degrees; hot, dry, flushed skin; rapid or difficult breathing; and no response to stimulus), seek immediate medical attention. Take your infant to the coolest setting you can find, remove clothing, breastfeed or offer water, and call 911. Parents and caretakers must also be vigilant during the winter months, say experts. This is because caretakers tend to over-bundle babies in warm blankets, which causes body temperature to rise.

Post originally submitted by AlamanceMommies.com

Social Butterfly

Maybe I don’t remember it correctly - my childhood, that is. I don’t remember begging my parents to drive me from place to place, changing plans every other hour, and I certainly do not remember having the elaborate plans my daughter tends to make. I remember going down the street, playing with friends, and coming home when the streetlights came on. Sometimes we rode our bikes to the store to get ice cream, but mainly we played at each others houses and once in a while had dinner somewhere other than home. I guess things are different nowadays.

My life has been turned upside down now that I have a twelve year old. She always wants to do something with someone. I realize it has to be hard for her because I don’t live near her friends, and due to some medical issues I don’t drive anymore nor do I have anyone to help me out when it comes to driving her around.

She has a lot of friends, but those friends' parents don’t understand the predicament I am in and aren’t at all willing (or possibly able) to drive their children 30 minutes to my house. I just have no way to get my daughter to her desired destinations at the spur of the moment. I have to give up my time with her so she can stay in town at my mom’s or her dad’s house so she can see her friends and do things with them. It pulls at my heartstrings.

Take, for example, this past weekend. A mom was nice enough to come out and get my daughter Friday (I did give her gas money) to take her to an end of the year party that one of her friends was having that included a sleepover. The plan was - she would spend Saturday afternoon and Sunday with her grandma (since she hadn’t seen her a lot this summer) and then come back to me on Monday. Things got way out of control and being so far away there was very little I could do to fix or control it.

Instead of going to grandma’s house on Saturday, she continued to spend the day with her friends. Normally I wouldn’t care, but I found out that they did some stuff that I wouldn't have let her do. Like take a three mile walk without an adult, for example. And the plans she told me she was going to make turned into some other sort of plans. None of which I approved. What made me the angriest was the fact that my daughter has a cell phone, but has very poor communication skills. She wasn’t with whom I thought she was with (not that who she was with was bad, just not who I thought she would be with) and she stayed out so late that her grandma went to bed and she had to sleep at her friend's house for a second night (against my direct orders of no sleepovers on Saturday night.)

Apparently she ended up with my mom on Sunday and did the right thing (until I found out that she forgot her cell charger and I couldn’t reach her.) This made me happy, but when I look back over the entire weekend I can’t help but be angry and frustrated. She is a wonderful little girl with a big heart, but at the end of the day I can’t help but want to keep her at home.

I don’t understand why kids have to make such grandiose plans. What happened to playing in each others basement or backyard? Why is there a need to go to malls, walk around and constantly be with each other? I recall having sleepovers (they increased when I got older), but not every single weekend. I don’t recall having to be with a large group of friends either, but then again, maybe I am recalling my childhood incorrectly.

Life as I know it has changed, and it appears that there is nothing that I can do about it but roll with the punches and be the best mom that I can be. I want my daughter to be a social butterfly and have a lot of friends, but I also want her to find quality friends that stand the test of time. Do those friends still exist? I think I will just take a deep breath and roll with it!

Post submitted by Jody from ClevelandMommies.com

What Was I Thinking?

Hello, my name is Jody Morgan, and I take on too much.

Yes, that is how I feel that I need to introduce myself lately. I spend too much time doing stuff for other people that when it comes to myself, I really don’t take care of me. However, when I don’t take care of me, I become crabby, mean, irritable and downright insulting to others.

This summer has been a whirlwind of crazy. First, I decided I was going to take two online classes. English (College Composition II) and Women’s Studies. I was moving along until I was hospitalized for five days. That set me so far behind in English I had to take a “W”. I am not pleased with that, but at least I can take the course over again in the spring. I am continuing on in the Women’s Studies class, but only because the professor has been kind enough to let me work through my medical issues and work at my own pace as long as it all gets done by the end of the semester.

I am the chapter manager of www.ClevelandMommies.com. This is a major challenge for me. I make sure I post and reply to topics each day, help organize events for the members, create a newsletter each month and a few other things sprinkled in there. I have a great hospitality manager and she is awesome at making new members feel welcomed and are attending events each week.

To go along with ClevelandMommies, I also do volunteer work for The Mommies Network. I work to create content for their blog and do some other work to support the chapters and any problems that they may be having as well. Trust me, when you are running a chapter, issues can pop up all the time and it is good to have someone there to bounce ideas off of and help take the pressure off all the decision-making.

I am also the president of the Action Committee Advocating Change that is part of the local ADAMHS Board of Cuyahoga County. This position works to advocate for individuals that have alcohol, drug or mental health problems and work to raise awareness in the community. This is a really passionate cause to me because I am bipolar and feel that the community needs to be educated regarding individuals that have problems. I have been to Columbus, Ohio to speak about cutting the mental health budget, and I will continue to advocate for fairness to those with alcohol and mental health disorders as well as appropriate funding so that individuals can get the help they need.

My twelve-year-old daughter has been with me so far this summer. Her dad and I split her summer vacation up so we each get her for half. However, my half has been competing with sleepovers, parties, grandma’s house, grandpa’s house and a slew of other things. I really am not feeling like I have been able to spend any real quality of time with her, but as long as she is having fun I guess that is what matters.

In addition to all of that, I have been watching my friend’s two children this summer and they keep me going constantly. They always need to be doing something and are always wanting to try something new. Add them to my daughter, and you have three very active children. Sometimes we even add in a couple of extra kids and I just have a full house all the time.

My life is crazy busy, as I don’t know how to say no to anyone. I somehow manage to try and be everything to everyone and a lot of the time I fail. And when I fail, I get back up and try to do it all over again the next day. I ask myself if that is a bad thing, but I usually decide that it isn’t and I keep on moving forward.

Post submitted by Jody from ClevelandMommies.com

Menu Monday: Strawberry Ice Cream Sandwiches

The cookies are a Martha Stewart recipe. They were dry for my liking so next time I will tweak the recipe a bit. We went strawberry picking so I made some strawberry ice cream, it was divine- it's all gone now, but so very good.

Strawberry Ice Cream Sandwiches

For the cookies-
2 3/4 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for dusting
1/2 cup cocoa powder
2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
12 tablespoons (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 large eggs
1 tablespoon milk ( I would use 2- 21/2)

Strawberry Ice cream
1- 1 1/2 pints of strawberries- washed and quartered
1 tablespoon lemon juice
2 large eggs
1 egg yolk
3/4 cup sugar - if you like it sweet use up to a cup
2 cups heavy cream
1 cup milk
vanilla extract
vanilla bean

To make the ice cream
Mix the strawberries, lemon juice and sugar. Set it aside in the refrigerator.
Make a custard with the rest of the ingredients by mixing the cream and milk in a heavy bottomed pan. Add the vanilla extract and split vanilla bean. Once the mixture starts to steam, temper the beaten eggs and egg yolk with some cream mixture. Add the tempered eggs to the pot. Continue heating until the custard is thick and coats the back of a wooden spoon.
Cool the custard in the fridge, stir it occasionally to keep the cream from separating. Once cool remove the vanilla bean and discard, stir in the strawberries. Freeze in an ice cream maker.


For the cookies-

Sift the first four ingredients and set aside.

Cream butter and sugar together. Add eggs, milk and vanilla extract.

Mix wet ingredients into the wet ones.

Scrape sides of the bowl to make sure all ingredients are incorporated.

Divide dough in half. Pat into disks.

Wrap with plastic wrap and chill in refrigerator. For about an hour.

On a lightly floured surface roll out one disk of dough to 1/8 inch thick. With an off set spatula or I used my dough cutter thing, lift the dough as you roll off the surface to make sure it doesn't stick.





Cut shapes with a cookie cutter. Make sure each shape has a matching one. Place them on a parchment or silpat lined baking sheet. Chill in the refrigerator for 30 minutes.

With the tines of a fork make little holes on top of the cookies. Bake at 350 for 12-15 minutes. DO NOT over bake them, they get too hard.
Let cool on the baking sheet.





Transfer to a cooling rack to finish cooling.
To assemble ice cream sandwiches, place softened ice cream on the underside of a cookie, top with another and place in the freezer for it to harden.

Post provided by the Please Give Peas a Chance Blog.

Frugal Living: Grab Five Fantastic High Tech Freebies

You can put away your credit card, because these items are 100% free.  What a wonderful four letter word – free.  You will find absolutely no hidden fees.  Have fun with these deals.

Wi-Fi Internet

Surf the web using a free Wi-Fi spot and you can reduce the data fees on your smart phone and reduce your utility bill at the same time.  Use wififreespot.com or download a free application like Free Wi-Fi Finder onto your smartphone to help locate free Wi-Fi spots in your area.  You can generally find free Wi-Fi at bookstores, restaurants, libraries, and coffee shops.

Calls on a smartphone

Have you heard of Skype?  It’s a wonderful application that costs absolutely nothing to download to your smartphone or computer.  With Skype, you can call any family or friend who is also signed up on the Skype network for no cost.  Use it on your smartphone to call people without using your cell phone minutes.  Be sure to call them while using free Wi-Fi access at one of the locations you found. 

Unlimited texts using your PC

So you want to be able to text, but cannot afford an expensive text-messaging cell phone plan?  You can text for free using any personal computer.  You will need to sign up for a free Google or AOL e-mail account, and as long as you have access to a computer, you can text any mobile number and receive texts as well, all for free.  Go to http://www.google.com/googlevoice/ to learn more about Google Voice and http://www.aol.com/ to learn more about AOL’s service.

Computer advice from an expert

Skip the big box stores and expensive technical geeks.  You can find expert help for solving your computer problems online for no charge.  Check out forums and advice from the professionals at http://www.geekstogo.com – an online community of thousands of volunteers who are eager and available to help you with your computer woes.

Photography editing software

Are you a shutterbug?  Do not pay big bucks for pricey editing software.  Instead surf on over to http://www.picnik.com to edit those priceless pics.  You can alter photos from Picasa, Facebook, Flickr or your computer hard drive using their tools.  You can resize, crop, rotate, and add cool fonts and special effects for free.

Melissa Thornton is a moderator for TriangleMommies.com and provides tips online via https://www.facebook.com/triangletips

Pregnancy Ailments You Should Know About!

I'm no pregnancy expert, but I have been around the block - twice. While doctors, nurses, and moms everywhere proclaim, "Every pregnancy is different!", mine have been eerily identical (with one or two minute variations). So while I may not have all of the answers, I'm pretty seasoned in the ways pregnancy has affected me.

There's no doubt that you've heard about the obvious downsides to gestating a human - even if you've never been pregnant yourself. They're portrayed, dramatically, in every soap opera, movie, and sitcom with a female demographic in mind. And the second you get a positive on your home pregnancy test, people who have been there, done that start warning you about all the ways you're "in for it" over the next 40 weeks. So I'm not going to tell you squat about morning sickness, back aches, heartburn, or hemorrhoids. No...I'm going to tell you about two of the seemingly hidden (yet fairly common) side effects of pregnancy that no one thought to clue me in on!

The first, and definitely more common of the two is - Anemia.

Chances are, you'll be tested for this particular issue. Somewhere in your second trimester, you'll either be put through a finger prick test or a blood draw to check your hemoglobin levels (I've had it done both ways). Hemoglobin is the magical protein in your blood that carries oxygen from your lungs to the rest of your body. Kind of important, wouldn't ya say?

Hemoglobin is measured in grams per decilitre (I don't know what a decilitre is, just the messenger, ha!), and doctors like to see us women above 12 g/DL. If your test falls below this number, they will suggest a change in your lifestyle. Their recommendation depends on how severely below 12 g/DL you are - it can be as simple as instructing you to eat more leafy green veggies and red meat, or it may include a more strict diet - or even adding iron supplements to your daily life.

Iron is required to create and maintain normal function of your red blood cells, and is contained in hemoglobin. In order to get your levels up, you need a lot of iron in your life! In addition, you need good Vitamin C levels, as it helps your body absorb the iron. Anemia can be a struggle for women even when we're not pregnant, but when we are - it becomes a more dire situation. Failure to bring your levels up prior to delivery can mean more severe bleeding, and anemic crashes - both of which are things I've experienced firsthand and don't recommend to anyone!

When I was pregnant the first time around, I was tested via the finger prick test at 28 weeks. It was quick, and the nurse who administered the test gave me the results only minutes later. My hemoglobin level was a 10.6 g/DL - which I was told was too low. She handed me a sheet of paper that provided me with a detailed list of iron-rich foods, and other foods that help you absorb the iron. I'll never forget the way she scolded me when she told me to be strict about eating things from the list. She concluded her speech with a warning - "Trust me, you don't want to be put on iron supplements". 

I left my appointment that week feeling deflated and confused. Why had no one warned me to keep my iron levels up before that point? I'd been given remedies for everything under the sun, and yet - I was blindly led to a confrontation with an ornery nurse who seemed offended that I wasn't taking better care of myself. I didn't even know what iron was before that point - other than one of those pesky elements with an abbreviation I had to memorize for 11th grade Chemistry (I haven't forgotten...Fe). Suddenly I had to consider things like eating liver and prunes, and avoiding mean nurses with the painful finger prick machine! And what was so scary about the iron supplements? I had no clue - but I assumed they were massive horse pills that would land you in bed with nausea after the way she made it sound!

I did my best on the food end of things, but it still wasn't enough. In addition to being clueless up until this point - no one told me how hard it was to rebuild your hemoglobin levels or compile good iron stores. No one told me what the consequences were, and since I felt fairly symptom-free, I was admittedly too casual about the situation. The morning of delivery, my levels had dipped all the way down to 9 g/DL, but my doctors failed to say anything - presumably because it was too late to fix it, anyway. Then, the morning I was released from the hospital they tested me a final time, and I had crashed all the way to 6 g/DL - HALF the minimum level! 

Usually a treatment for a level that low is a blood transfusion, but considering that I was breastfeeding, I felt weird about the idea and begged them not to. Instead, they agreed to release me if I promised to take two iron supplements a day for 60 days. Despite my previous fear of them (thanks, mean nurse) I easily agreed.

Recovery was difficult - and very slow. Common symptoms (all of which I had) are - paleness, shortness of breathe, fatigue, lightheadedness, dizziness, loss of energy, mood swings, leg cramps, fast heartbeat, and heavier postpartum bleeding. I worked through all of that, faithfully taking my pills every morning and every evening, waiting to regain my strength. It's extremely difficult for your body to recover from such a crash (sometimes up to a YEAR!), so to say that I learned my lesson is an understatement!

I never truly recovered from anemia - even feeling slightly more symptomatic each time it was "that time of the month". Despite everything I went through, no doctors ever retested me! I know now that I should have requested it, but at the time - I was quite clueless!

When I became pregnant for the second time, anemia was on my radar! AS SOON as I felt symptomatic, I put myself on iron supplements. And for the record - they aren't bad! If you take the "slow flow" type (which gradually releases the iron into your system), you'll most likely be side effect free. After I was tested during this pregnancy (this time with a blood draw at the same time as my glucose test), my level was at 10.4 g/DL - and my doctors asked me to increase my supplements to two a day. I was happy to see that they were more proactive about it than my previous doctors (I moved and thus switched practices between pregnancies). 

At my last appointment, I asked my doctor if I'd be re-tested anytime soon to see where I stood. She said no, not until I was in the hospital, but considering I've been building up my iron levels for months - I should recover much more easily. I'm quite interested to see how well it goes.

Anemia is a fairly simple condition, but left untreated it can lead to a lot of hardship for your postpartum recovery and daily life. I think it's unfortunate that us women aren't told more about it - whether in pregnancy or regular health care, since it can affect us at any time and take a lot of work to recover from! 

Another condition I've had the "pleasure" of experiencing is something called PUPPS.

As you progress in your pregnancy, you may find that your expanding belly skin is quite itchy. This has been true for both of my pregnancies. Sometimes this is completely normal, and sometimes it can be a bit more. For my first pregnancy, it was generally harmless - my skin was just too tight and dry, and I couldn't help but scratch! My doctors suggested that I use an anti-itch cream to tide me over, and to keep the area hydrated with lotion or Vaseline. Considering my first son stretched my skin so sufficiently (he was a 9lb 5oz baby), I hadn't had to deal with many of the same skin issues for my second pregnancy. I didn't endure more stretch marks, didn't have months of endless itching - it was quite a nice break, actually! 

When I hit 34 weeks, however - that changed. Seemingly overnight, a pink, bubbly, itchy hive spread across the lower section of my belly. It was BEYOND itchy! I kept waking up in the middle of the night with my hands furiously easing the itch. I waited a couple days to see if the area really was a hive, all while slathering on Vaseline. It only seemed to get worse, so I did some googling and checked with a friend who described a similar situation with her most recent pregnancy. I was pretty much convinced that I had PUPPS, and resolved to talk to my doctor about it at my next appointment. 

PUPPS stands for Pruritic Urticarial Papules and Plaques of Pregnancy. It presents itself exactly as I described - much like a hive. It tends to appear in a stretch-marked area of the belly skin (I have PLENTY left over from my first pregnancy!), and eventually spreading to the thighs, butt, and more of the belly. The itching is quite intense, and can look pretty gruesome! Unfortunately, the only cure for it is child birth. It doesn't completely disappear until your baby arrives. However, you can treat it!

My doctor confirmed that I indeed had PUPPS, and prescribed a steroid ointment. Within a few uses, the hive started to shrink in appearance and texture, and the itching has decreased immensely! In fact, I almost feel as though I don't need to use it anymore - but I put very light coatings on it to ensure that it doesn't spread elsewhere. I have a few very small patches on the tops of my thighs that I'm hoping don't expand any further!

PUPPS usually only shows up in first pregnancies - though this obviously wasn't true for me, nor was it true for my friend. The theories behind the cause of this condition are that rapidly expanding skin has a negative reaction that triggers the development of the hives. (Since this baby seems even BIGGER than my first, that explains the appearance of it in a subsequent pregnancy in my case!) Another interesting theory is that male fetal DNA acts as an irritant to the skin, resulting in the hives - much like an allergic reaction. Apparently, expectant mothers with PUPPS are carrying boys 70% of the time. Both of my pregnancies have been with boys, so I fit that statistic!

There's no way to avoid the condition, but you can do your best to hydrate your skin as it expands and hopefully it won't plague you! Luckily, only 1 in 200 pregnancies develop PUPPS.

While neither of these pregnancy ailments are dangerous or life threatening, they are irritating and make the struggles of pregnancy much more difficult! Knowing about them in advance means that you can report symptoms to your doctor as soon as you notice them - increasing your chances for recovery and minimizing damage. And if you know a first time mom who is interested in your veteran experience, don't forget to warn them about these conditions when you're giving them remedies for their battle with morning sickness!

Post submitted by Jenn, National Blog Manager for The Mommies Network and quirky stay-at-home-mom who blogs at The Very Best Housewife.

Blog For Us!

Licky's Family Garden (Part 4)

You saw when we built our garden bed, and filled it with dirt.

And you saw when we started filling it up with the first of it's veggies.

Since then, our main garden has been fully planted, and our herb garden has been born!

A final trip to our farmers market provided us with the rest of our needed plants, as well as more advice from the helpful farmers. Seriously - if you're a first-timer, or even if you're not - check to see if your area has a good farmer's market. We've saved money, learned things we wouldn't have otherwise, and even got a head start on our gardens thanks to good recommendations. Taking advantage of our farmers market has proven to be a huge asset to our first garden attempts!

Let's start with the veggies. This is what we purchased on our final visit:

Mountain Fresh Tomatoes (6 plants)
Grape Tomatoes (2 plants)
Green Bell Peppers (6 plants)
Red Bell Peppers (6 plants)
Jalapeno Peppers (6 plants)
Yellow Beans (6 plants)
Peas (6 plants)
Cucumbers (6 plants)
Red Onions (many sprouts)

We paid $21 for that list, and it comes out to over 50 plants (that's estimating on the short side for the Red Onions). What that translates to is $.42 a plant! Whoo hoo!

Believe it or not, I planted everything my-very-pregnant-self! My husband had a TON of other yard work to do that day (including building our herb garden, but we'll get there momentarily), and because I was antsy to have our veggies in the ground, I decided to attempt it on my own. It was no easy task! I had a hard time kneeling and squatting, and my feet kept falling asleep. My belly was constantly getting in the way, and I found it nearly impossible to be comfortable while doing this. But in the end, I got the job done, and I was was proud of myself for planting our gardens preggo-style!





The larger plants on the left are from our previous crops, and the space between those and the new plants was left for the cucumbers. We were told that they had just left the greenhouse that morning and needed a bit of tempering before being planted, so we worked them into the outdoors for a few days before adding them in.

What we have, from the space moving to the right, are: yellow beans, peas, jalapenos, red peppers, green peppers, and tomatoes.





Here's the whole thing, all filled up (sans cukes, that is)!



And here's a peek at how are previous crops are coming along!

You may notice that we lost two of our lettuce plants. They were slightly wimpier than the rest and didn't survive. They just kept wilting away while the others thrived. I filled in the gap with some red onion bulbs.

One thing I'd really like to do, still, is add some graphic plant markers. Not for my use - I know what everything is and where it is. It's more for my crafty side, as well as an educational tool for my little man. Ideally, they'd have a picture of the vegetable each plant will eventually produce to help him associate the plants with their foods. I'll have to do some searching around and see what I can come up with!

I keep dreaming up a detailed gardening journal, too - complete with planting and harvest dates, crop details, yield results, lessons learned, our uses for each plant, etc.

Can you tell I'm getting as nerdy about gardening as I am about blogging?

So, the herb garden!

First of all, we purchased our herbs at our wonderful farmers market. Herbs cost a little more in general, so it wasn't as much of a wow-factor good deal, but still great nonetheless! We ended up with:

Parsley(4 plants)
Basil(4 plants)
Chives (4 plants)
Oregano (1 plant)
Cilantro (1 plant)
Mint(1 plant)

That comes out to 15 plants, or $.90 a plant. Still a great deal considering they will come back year after year!

So, for the garden itself, we knew the approximate area we wanted it to be in, but didn't have anything else figured out - including the size, shape, structure or execution of it. In the end, we just kind of had at it! Smart, right?

We both wanted it close to the house (for easy snipping/picking right outside the kitchen doors while we're cooking), and liked the idea of landscaping around our patio. We plopped all the plants together to guess how much room we'd need (remember, spacing isn't one of our strong points) and settled on a quarter-circle shape in the corner of our patio. Hubs lined the shape by sprinkling flour on the ground, then dug up the grass in sheets (like sod) to use in another area of the yard where we have weedy/shoddy grass growth.

When the shape was carved and lined with stone, he filled it up with organic topsoil we had left over from filling the garden bed. And then 'ol preggers here took over the reigns and planted our herbs!





Ta Da!

We decided to include our grape tomatoes in this garden for easy picking - as I assume we'll be "harvesting" those way more often than the regular sized variety. Also, the basil isn't in the ground yet because it, too needed a bit of tempering.

So far, my gardening experience has been a great one. I attribute this to obsessive googling, my fabulous farmer's market, and sheer luck. We water twice a day (in the morning and evening, before and after the sun becomes harsh), with the exception of rainy days - and I have NO IDEA if this is the right way to do it. My mom keeps telling me I'm going to produce blah-tasting tomatoes if I water them that often - but who knows! We're winging it, in every sense!

Next up? We finally add the mesh to our main garden, start growing monstrous plants, and learn a few valuable lessons! Stay tuned! :)



Post submitted by Jenn, National Blog Manager for The Mommies Network and quirky stay-at-home-mom who blogs at The Very Best Housewife. Originally submitted to The Very Best Housewife blog on June 16, 2011.

Menu Monday: Cherry Almond Cookies

Someone posted a recipe for Honey Oatmeal cookies on a forum I belong to yesterday and I had to bake some up. The cookies are soft, chewy and the honey in the background gives the cookies another layer of flavor. When I saw the recipe I thought about what went well with honey and thought almonds. And almonds go well with cherries. So I added almond extract, dried cherries, almond extract and some white baking chips/almond bark. The result? YUM.

The girls ate them up. DH at first thought I put raisins in cookies, but then he said "I knew they couldn't be raisins", no kidding. Next time I am going to try subbing wheat flour for the AP flour and palm sugar instead of the brown sugar and increase the honey a little bit. Just to experiment with different sugars- palm sugar has a lower glycemic index than brown sugar, not because I think the cookies need improvement.

3 TBS unsalted butter, room temperature
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup honey
1 egg
1 TBS water
1/2 cup flour
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp baking soda- I used 1/2 almost 3/4
1 1/2 cups rolled oats
the original recipe said any amount of the following- dried figs, chocolate chips, nuts, raisins, currants
I added-
1/2 cup dried pitted sulfured cherries
1/2 cup white baking chips
1/4 cup chopped dry roasted almonds
1/2 tsp almond extract

Preheat an oven to 350 degrees. Grease a cookies sheet or cover one with parchment paper.
Piglet helped me sift some ingredients.
Sift- flour, soda, salt.

Beat the butter and sugar together. Add the honey, water, egg and extract. Beat well. Add the flour mixture and mix.

Stir in oats, mix well. Stir in cherries, chips and almonds.
Bake for 12-15 minutes
I baked them for 12 minutes.

Post provided by the Please Give Peas a Chance Blog.

We Need YOUR Words!

Frugal Living: Requesting Coupons and Products

I have heard many complaints from moms saying that they can never find coupons or deals for the items they use the most.  Did you know that if you e-mail, call or write letters to companies, that often times they will send you free coupons for their products?  My family has received coupons for soy milk, organic fruit and gluten free foods, just to name a few, simply by contacting the manufacturers of our favorite products.

I prefer to contact companies via their web sites, as I have received the most favorable responses this way, and all it costs is a few minutes of my time.  I keep my letter upbeat, add a personal touch and am sure to include my contact information.  I always ask for exactly what I want.  I am not saying that I always get what I want, but sometimes I do indeed get exactly what I ask for.  

In your letter, be sure to:
-include your name, physical address, phone number, e-mail address
-praise the company
-mention your favorite product(s)
-ask for what you want

A sample letter looks something like this:

Jane Doe
123 Main Street
Hometown, US 12345
janedoe@gmail.com
999-867-5309

Dear Pilot Pen Company,

My name is Jane Doe and I live in Hometown, US.  I am a busy mom to four energetic children and proud wife of Steve, my hard-working blue collar husband.   Our household uses your Pilot G-2 mini pen exclusively for our writing needs.  I love the smooth flow of the ink, the compact design and the soft grip pad.  Thank you so much for designing such a well-made pen.   As a hard-working family, we would appreciate a few samples of the different colors of the Pilot G-2 mini pen.

Sincerely,
Jane Doe

I added a personal touch by telling the company about my family (for the purpose of this exercise it is fictional, as is the contact information).  I mentioned the product they produce that we love the most (the Pilot G-2 mini pen is a specific pen).  I praised the design of the pen itself using very specific details.  I thanked the company and praised them for the design of the pen.  I asked for samples of the pen I mentioned.  Writing the letter took me five minutes.  Then I googled “pilot pen company” and found the manufacturer’s web site.  I clicked on customer service, filled out the form and sent my letter.  It truly is that simple.

Melissa Thornton is a moderator for TriangleMommies.com and shares savings tips at https://www.facebook.com/triangletips 

Free Activities for Summer Fun & Learning

Summer is here, and if you're like me, you are already looking for some fun things to do with your kids and family.  So, as I've been searching around the web, I kept note of everything to share with you.  I love that all of these activities are free (or really inexpensive), but I like even more that there is some learning snuck in there too.  Start marking your calendars now!

Borders Double Dog Dare You Summer Reading - Kids under 12 can read 10 books (their choice), record them on the printable entry form, and bring it to the store for one free book from the selection provided.
http://www.borders.com/online/store/MediaView_double-dog-dare

Barnes and Noble Imagination's Destination Summer Reading - Kids read 8 books (their choice), record them on the printable reading journal, and bring it to the store for one free book from the selection provided.
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/summerreading/index.asp

iVillage and PBS Kids Summer Reading Community Challenge - Signing up for this online reading challenge will get you a daily email with fun activities to build reading skills, tricks and advice from your challenge coach, book suggestions for kids of all ages, tips from other parents taking the challenge, and a chance to win daily prizes.
http://challenges.ivillage.com/kids-summer-reading

Public Library Summer Reading Club - Almost every public library system in the US hosts a free summer reading club for it's community.  You can check this listing here to find a library in your area and contact them to find out if they are participating.
http://www.publiclibraries.com/

Kids Bowl Free - Check here to see if a bowling alley near you is participating.  Bowling is not only fun, but a great form of exercise and a good way to sneak in math!  (shoe rental is not included)
http://www.kidsbowlfree.com/

Family Summer Camp at Bass Pro Shops - Free family crafts, workshops and other activities.  Check the website for all the details and schedule of events.  Runs May 30th - July 5th.
http://www.basspro.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/CFPageC?storeId=10151&catalogId=10001&langId=-1&lf=&pageID=4769&cm_sp=SummerCamp2009-_-CFM_05_20_09-_-Crafts

Great American Backyard Campout - Join the National Wildlife Federation's Great American Backyard Campout June 25th for a night of old-fashioned fun outdoors.  Also get free camping tips, campfire songs and stories, recipes, games and activities.
http://online.nwf.org/site/PageNavigator/gabc_2010_home

Lowe's Build and Grow Clinics - Bring the kids into any Lowe's store and build a FREE wooden project. Each participant also receives a free apron, goggles, a project themed patch, and a certification of merit upon completion of their project.
http://www.lowesbuildandgrow.com/

Kids Workshops at Home Depot - Kids workshops are free how to workshops designed for kids 5-12.  The hands on sessions are offered on the first Saturday of each month at all Home Depot stores.
http://www.homedepot.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ContentView?catalogId&langId=-1&pn=Kids_Workshops&storeId=10051

Free Crafts for Kids at Lakeshore Learning - Free crafts for kids, every Saturday.
http://www.lakeshorelearning.com/general_content/store_locations/storeCrafts.jsp

Regal Theater's Summer Movie Express - Moviegoers of all ages can climb aboard to enjoy a great selection of films. During this 9-week festival, select Regal Cinemas, United Artists and Edwards Theatres will offer selected G or PG rated movies for only a dollar on Tuesdays and Wednesdays at 10:00 am.
http://www.regmovies.com/summermovieexpress/default.aspx

I've heard that Michael's craft stores will also be hosting a summer crafts program, Passport to Fun, a summer of events for kids, June 21 - July 30.  Kids receive a passport to keep track of the crafts they've completed and get to make two crafts each week.  Details will be coming soon and I'll update when I hear anything can be found on their website; just click on a country to get all the details!
http://www.michaels.com/Passport-to-Fun/PTF,default,pg.html

Post submitted by Kimberly from The Muddy Princess Blog . She is also a founding member and former Site Administrator for BaltimoreMommies.com. Kimberly also serves as a Nature Rocks Ambassador and shares great activities for the Get Outdoors initiative.
Post originally published on her blog 5/16/11

Mythbuster: A Day at the Park

If you have been a mom for more than five minutes, you are already well aware of the many things people never tell you before you welcome that first bundle of joy into your life. But if you have yet to experience the toddler and preschool years, you may not realize that playtime at the park is yet another one of those misconceptions that nobody wants to address or warn you about.

Just this morning, I stepped outside and realized what a beautiful day it was. We’ve been dealing with 95 degree weather with a heat index in the triple digits for several weeks here in the Carolinas…so we haven’t gone anywhere outside that isn’t more than ten feet from some sort of body of water. But today…today was a great day to pack up the kids and head to the park.

As I helped my daughters get ready, relaxation was already setting in. I grabbed my latest issue of Real Simple, my sunglasses, and a cold bottle of water and off we went. I could almost feel the breeze on my face as I pictured myself sitting under the shade of a large tree, devouring my magazine, and glancing up once in awhile to smile and wave at my blissful children.

I pulled into a parking space and squeals of delight went up from the back seat. The brightly colored playground equipment was already evoking pure joy in their little hearts. This is going to be a great morning, I thought to myself with a calming exhale.

I watched their blonde hair bounce and their heads bob as they ran off ahead of me. I dutifully smiled and waved before sitting down on an empty bench, just under a large oak tree, exactly as I had imagined. My sunglasses were in place, and my magazine was on my lap. I opened up the cover.

“MOM! MOM! ELLA NEEDS HELP! SHE’S STUCK ON THE CLIMBING WALL AND IS ABOUT TO FALL!” I heard my six year old yelling hysterically.

I tossed my magazine to the side and dashed to the rescue of my four year old, positioned precariously on a very small “rock” about three-quarters of the way up the wall. Standing on tip-toe, I grabbed at her pants until I managed to get a firm grasp and lowered her back down to the ground.

She grinned at me and ran off toward the slide. I watched for a moment, poised between the playground and the awaiting shade beneath the tree. All seemed to be well, so I returned to my magazine.

“MOOOOOOOM! RHEA NEEDS HELP ON THE MONKEY BARS! SHE IS SLIPPING!” This time it was my four year old.

I jumped up again and hurried to the monkey bars where my six year old was dangling from the very last bar. Just as I reached her she lunged forward and safely landed on the blue platform. “Oh, nevermind.” She giggled. “I don’t need any help.”

Okay, no big deal. Back to the bench, magazine in hand. “MOM! SOME BIG KIDS ARE BLOCKING ELLA AND SHE CAN’T GET THROUGH THE TUNNEL.”

Magazine cast off to the side again, I spotted Ella’s head through the small openings of the plastic tunnel. I gently explained to the “big kids” that Ella was trying to get through and asked if they could please move out of the way so she could get to the slide. They nodded in agreement and I stood nearby until she reached the other side. Success, I thought immediately! So back to the bench I went.

Finally beginning my first article, I ignored the shrieks erupting in the background, thinking those don’t sound like my kids…I’m good for now. Until…“Excuse me? Somebody needs help. Ella is throwing a big spider down the slide and the other kids are scared.” I looked up to see a boy, who appeared to be about eight, standing over me, clearly having figured out Ella’s name in the past ten minutes from all the urgent close calls.

I thanked him for letting me know and walked over to Ella. I knelt down in front of her and tried my best to explain that not all children like spiders, and they wouldn’t all be as fond of her giant rubber tarantula as she was. So could she please just hold onto it and not let it have a turn on the slide because it was terrifying the other children. “Okay, Mom!” She called over her shoulder as she headed off to the swing set.

I drew in a breath and crept stealthily toward my seat, the mission impossible theme song playing in head. I sat carefully, eyes locked on Ella the whole time. She placed her spider in the baby swing and began pushing it back and forth, completely entertained. Feeling victorious, I opened once again to the page I had earmarked.

“MOM, CAN YOU PUSH ME? I WANT TO SWING NEXT TO MY SPIDER!” I closed the cover, this time realizing it was for good. I sighed in defeat and shuffled toward the swings.

Another mom stood on the other side of Ella. She was pushing a little girl with pigtails and an enormous smile plastered across her face. The mom, on the other hand, wore a blank expression and looked as defeated as I felt. For several seconds we simultaneously pushed our children in complete silence.

“Coming to the park means a workout for us, doesn’t it?” She said finally.

“It sure does.” I replied. “And here I was thinking I was going to relax.”

We both laughed for awhile, feeling silly for falling for the illusion that a morning at the park with our kids could actually result in something peaceful and pleasant for us.

And that’s when it hit me. The whole façade of a nice day at the park is very unfair. Why hadn’t anyone told me that before? If I had gone there fully anticipating that I would be running around the whole time, coming to the rescue of every little beck and call, I wouldn’t have felt so disappointed when that was exactly what happened!!

Lesson learned. And I am passing it on to all of you. Park days are not relaxing. They are a lot of work! Just go ahead and leave your magazines and books at home. Dress comfortably and be prepared to get a little sweaty. If you follow this advice, you might actually be on your way to enjoying yourself there!

You’re welcome. ;)

Post submitted by Heather from UnionCountyMommies.com

Licky's Family Garden (Part 3)

The last time I updated you on our gardening adventures, we had just built and filled the structure for our raised garden bed. We settled on waiting for May 30th, our last frost date, before filling the bed with any veggies. And there we sat, twiddling our thumbs in limbo.

(Ya know, because regularly scheduled life wasn't happening in the mean time. I kid, I kid.)

Knowing that every other gardener in our area would be purchasing and planting at the same time, we decided to scope out the situation at our local farmers market at the end of April. Our goal was really just research, but a few overly-friendly and eager farmers convinced us to get some hardier plants in the ground right away. They know better than us, right?

We started out small - leaf lettuce, broccoli, cauliflower, and onions all went home with us that day. Armed with advice from our friendly farmers, we planted them that very afternoon.




We got the little man in on the action, again. All through the planting process we emphasised the fact that this was our family garden - we'd all be planting it, caring for it, harvesting from it, and eating its crops together. I'm finding that the advantages of keeping a garden aren't just environmental and health related - it's also educational (if you encourage it to be)!




Admittedly so, we are true newbies when it comes to vegetable gardens, and despite speaking with the farmers - we were clueless about the proper spacing for these plants. What we ended up doing was purely based on an estimation of how much room we'd need for the rest of the plants we wanted to add. Probably not the best method, but we'll see how it turns out.

So if you're a seasoned gardener, and you see serious spacing issues in this next picture, don't be too harsh!



From Left to Right:
Broccoli, Cauliflower, Onions (underground), Buttercrisp Lettuce

Here's a cool note about our onions! We purchased a little pint of onion bulbs for $2, and I can't even tell you how many are in there - it's A LOT! The farmer that sold them to us suggested that we plant a new row every 2-3 weeks so that we have continuously growing onion crops. The type we bought are what is used for green onions (just cutting off the shoots that grow above ground), but they can also be used as regular cooking onions. So we have tons of these little onion bulbs, and we can use them for either purpose! Talk about a value!

So, going forward from here.

We plan to add a handful of other veggie plants (hoping for tomatoes, peppers, beans, and carrots) in a few more weeks. We also finally settled on creating a separate herb garden, and the approximate location to create it. Another farmer let us know that many herbs are perennials, so it makes sense to put them somewhere other than a veggie garden since our veggie bed will be turned and cultivated next year. We can nurture our herb garden as it is, year after year!

Things are coming along quite nicely! Check back next week to see what we've added!



Post submitted by Jenn, National Blog Manager for The Mommies Network and quirky stay-at-home-mom who blogs at The Very Best Housewife. Originally submitted to The Very Best Housewife blog on June 8, 2011.