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Sunday, January 31, 2010

If the Hat Fits...

All in a day’s work
You know when your kids come to you and say: “When I grow up I want to be a, police man, a nurse a ballerina and a farmer?  Well don’t crash those hopes mom, just think of everything that you do in one day and let them know that it is all possible.  Here is a list of “hats” that I had to wear today and I am sure you can all add many more to this list in your daily goings on.

My morning started well.  The kids woke up at a reasonable time and we cuddled in bed until it was time for James to get ready for work.  I jumped out of bed and headed for the computer to check my face book account (don’t judge you all do it!).  This is y morning “me” time, the kids know that I do this every morning and I get at least 5-10 minutes before I am called upon to put on my first hat.  It took about 7 minutes and I heard my first, “mommy, I am hungry”.  Hat number one goes on, personal chef.  Of course, in order to get this meal on the table I also had to be personal shopper and meal planner.

After breakfast the kids play a game together on the living room floor and I head to my bedroom with my cleaning lady hat on and straighten the bedrooms.  Four loads of washing needed to be sorted and prepared for the washing machine so off goes the one hat and on goes the washing service hat.
As I load my arms with clothes and head for the washing machine down the hall, two speeding scooters come down the passage and collide with my shins.  Not very impressed, I put on my traffic officer hat and give them both a verbal warning about speeding in the house and especially around corners.

With the washing machine going, I have to delay my shower so I head out to the living room to see what the damage is from their morning game.  Fortunately, there are only a few things scattered, but tweeting birds remind me that I have not cleaned them in a week.  I put on my pet grooming hat and clean the bird’s cage.  In the middle of this all I hear the most terrifying scream coming from my bedroom.  I grab my emergency response hat and run to the bedroom.  There I find my 6 year old lying on the floor holding her left arm and after some verbal probing I discover that they were practicing their cartwheels on the bedroom floor and she hit her arm on the dresser.  We cuddle and conclude that the wounds are superficial and they head off on the scooters down the hallway at a slower pace of course.

Finally, time for a shower and I get 5 minutes before I am called upon again.  A knock on the glass door scares the (insert acceptable profanity here) out of me and I enquire what the matter is.  “Alexia, does not want to play with me!”  Seriously…..?  That is why I get disturbed in the shower?  I “politely” inform her that I am indeed in the shower even though she apparently cannot see that and I will speak to her when I am done.  I narrowly escape putting on my group councilor hat and manage to finish my shower in peace.

After my shower, it is snack time.  I cut up some fruit wearing my nutritionist hat and settle the kids at the kitchen table, while I take the vacuum out only to find that the filter is dirty and needs to be washed.  I reluctantly pull on my vacuum technician hat and start the process of cleaning the filter.
With a nicely vacuumed living room I put on the electric kettle for a cup of hot tea, but before it boils I am summoned by a loud: “Mommeeeeeeee…I can’t find my other sock!”  I roll my eyes, head over to see and smell the sock that needs its mate and put on my sniffer dog hat to sniff out the missing sock.  No sock in sight, I abandon the task for something a little more worthy of my time.  I put on the accountant hat and pay a few bills online before starting lunch for the kids.

While paying the bills the kids pull all the bedding off of the newly made beds and drag them to the now clean living room.  I put on my negotiator hat and enquire what their plans may be.  I establish that they want to build a fort in the living room and quickly switch to my building permit officer hat and inform them that building forts in the living room is not permitted on Mondays.  We agree on a new building site in their bedroom and they are off again.

At lunch time we all head to the kitchen to make it together.  I put on my cooking coach hat and set the kids up to make their own sandwiches for lunch.  I finally get to have that cup of tea that I started hours ago and we all settle down for a relaxed chat and something to eat.

Just as we finish, the dog starts jumping on me and I know it is time to put on my dog whisperer hat.  She only jumps up on me like that when she wants to tell me something, so I check her bowls and they are both full.  I open the back door to see if she maybe wants to go out and she just stares at me.  So I give up and head to the kids bedroom with my demolition hat in hand to demolish the fort and prepare the room for our quiet time.  The kids and I have a great time pulling everything apart and with my supervisor hat now in place I direct them to areas that need to be cleaned up and put away.  I then discover what the dog was trying to tell me.  She had thrown up on one of the kids beds!  I put on my hazmat response hat and quickly clean up the mess.

Aaahhh, quiet time! I love this. The kids and I lie on their beds for an hour and either read together or take a nap together, whatever pleases us.  As I lay there with my eyes closed hoping that they will both fall asleep, I am mentally packing my hats for the rest for the day; taxi driver hat, errand runner hat, gymnastics instructor hat, cheerleader hat, educator hat, part time student hat, sleep coach hat, ghostbuster hat and wife hat

So, next time your little “mini-me”, comes to you and strings off a list of things that he/she wants to be when they grow up, just smile and think about all the “hats” that  you had to wear today.  Then tell them; “Of course you will darling - and you have no idea how much more….”

Written by Melenie Borden, a homeschool mom to 2 precious girls.  follow our adventures on

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