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Monday, December 14, 2009

Square Peg, Round Hole

Sometimes I feel like I'm trying to cram a square peg in a round hole and by that I mean trying to keep my kids from fighting.

Dash-1 and dash-2 are 22 months apart. This means a few things. In the long term it means that they will go strike it out in the big world in rather close succession, leaving some relative calm in the house.

In the short term (or rather this is the long term since it'll be the next decade and a half) it means that there is constant, and I mean constant, bickering and fighting.

"He touched me."

"He looked at me."

"He knocked over my legos."

"He stood in front of me."

"He's sitting on my stair."

And my favorite.... "He's breathing too loud."

That my friends is a small bit of what I listen to on a daily basis. I'm not really complaining, I'm pretty sure this is all in the fine print for being a mom of more then one child. Ok strike that, I am complaining because it drives me friggin crazy.

The one spot it seems that there is no longer fighting is in the car. {Thank you saturn for crapping out a transmission and forcing me to by a new car. Really I mean it, thank you from the bottom of my bickering weary heart.} Now one sits in the middle and one sits in the back, and for the most part, outta sight outta mind.

Now this isn't to say that they don't love each other and play nicely {occasionally for five minutes}.

When dash-1 is at school dash-2 whimpers till we pick him up, when dash-1 checks out the advent calendar he wants to rush in and wake up dash-2 he's so excited, when we briefly tried splitting them up from their shared room both went bonkers.

Point is, they do love each other, problem is, they are siblings {much like the mommy fine print I'm pretty sure fighting with your sibling is in the contract somewhere}.

So my conundrum is this.... am I wasting my breath, energy, and sanity by constantly harping on the getting along crap?

I realize that as a parent my job is to teach them right and wrong, hitting your brother is wrong, however, not always getting along and liking him is normal. And you can't fix normal. So they aren't always going to get along right? My kids are demons cause they bicker right?

I get along with my brother and sister. Now.

I remember back in the day not so much, my sister and I were 17 mths apart and fought like cats and dogs. My brother is four years younger so he wasn't so much on my radar. But even now while we get along, we all still bicker and nit pick. I'm thinking this is just the way its meant to be. Shoot my father doesn't even like us all to be in the house at the same time.

{Side story}I knew this brother and sister in high school, flyboy I'm sure will immediately know who I am talking about, they were closer then sardines in a can. Seriously, it was just odd how well they got along. And now I know I'm going to get a bunch of "oh I got along with my siblings, its not weird" comments, this was not the case. The first time my mother saw them together she thought they were dating. Odd, very odd.

So back to this post, I'm curious, those of you out there with more then one kid, please, please share your bickering stories, any tips that you have found that worked, or just that yours do it too.

Or those of you who had siblings and you remember bickering, chime in, let me know that you all grew up to be relatively normal. It's amazing how once you take on the task of raising kids, you start to worry that the littlest thing might screw them up.

I'm pretty sure its just par for course, if not I'll just keep them separated at all times. We do after all have a screened in porch that is just sitting empty, they can take turns living out there. It's only 38 degrees today, its not like its freezing or anything.



More of me can be found at http://tryingourbest.blogspot.com where I blog about military wife life, mommyhood, and stories about my kids that will, no doubt, embarrass them ten years from now.


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