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Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Honest Mommy Moment, Should I Save for College or Therapy?

This is an honest mommy post and perhaps some will think less of me for it but oh well here goes....yesterday, I was certain, was one of those days that my children will be recalling in therapy years from now.

It was one of those days where nothing seemed right, we did a fun craft to make our advent calendar (yeah I'm five days late what's it to you?) however it took us one fight between dash -1 and -2, three time outs, and one "I hate you mom you're the worst" to get it done. Delightful.

I tried to get them to paint some ornaments, no go, I tried to color with them, no go, so I let them be.

Then they would turn on each other.

Back to time out. And more tears. And of course a few more, "I hate you mom".

Oh and dash-1's new one "I want to find a new family". Which lucky for him that would be illegal because yesterday I would have helped out his cause.

Ah and there was the report from dash-1's preschool teacher about an "incident" {heads up to all you new parents out there the when your kids preschool teacher says she wants to talk to you about an incident, run, its never good.}

And bedtime, which usually goes rather smooth, was a fiasco, with lots of tears and screaming from dash-2.

All in all everyone was just generally being a butthead. The little one excluded. He's at that wonderful do no wrong stage, he just smiles and coos. And doesn't call me a butthead, that goes a long way to help him be so darn adorable.

Days like that suck. Not only are they just utterly painful, they make me doubt my fitness as a parent. There is nothing worse, in the quiet of the night, when all the kids are finally asleep, then looking back and feeling like you failed, time and time again over the course of the day.

I realize that all of us experience this in some way or another, and I'd like to think if anyone is reading this and thinking this has never or will never happen to them that they are lying to themselves. {Or that karma will quickly and painfully bite them in the ass. }

Parenting is the most emotional investing and taxing thing that a person can take on. Hands down. Here you are with the responsibility of shaping and forming an individual to be a decent human being, it can get draining and overwhelming and it makes those kinda days all the more painful.

In an ideal world kids would always be well behaved, they would always say thank you, they would always look at you with love and respect..... in the real world. HA! Not always.

The truth is that sometimes that as you go down the road of trying to shape and mold and lead them to be good decent people you hit speed bumps. And more then likely that speed bump is them being a butthead to you. It doesn't make it acceptable, I can't tolerate their behavior but I do have to try to remind myself that its not always an indictment on my parenting.

{Especially when I talk with my friend who's oldest is two weeks older then dash-1, we'll call her dashette-1. Well her mom is just about at the same point I am... giving away dashette-1. There seems to be something about this stage that dash and dashette 1 are at. They are testing the waters and its driving us crazy. But it does help some that someone else is suffering too.}

The day wasn't all bad, it never is. There were still hugs and kisses, some laughter and fun, but sadly there was more ickiness then fun. But then again I suppose not everyday can be, as dash-2 puts it, dweewightful. After all without the icky days the good days wouldn't seem so good now would they?

But today is a new day and dammit, its going to be friggin dweewightful.


More from me can be found at http://tryingourbest.blogspot.com where I write about motherhood, military wife life, and stories about my kids that will, no doubt, embarass them ten years from now.


2 comments :

  1. You're not alone! I think we all wonder once in awhile if we could trade in our kids on those days for a big pitcher of margarita mix and a comfy bed. Somehow they always turn it around with a smile and a sticky kiss though. Hang in there, you got company!

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  2. The funny thing it will be some random thing you do that you have no idea you are doing that lands them in therapy :)
    If your child were perfect and loving all the time you would never be willing to let them go off to college and lead their own lives. Their behavior is the universes way of making sure kids move on and away from their parents to pro-create and experience all of this for themselves.

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