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Friday, October 16, 2009

The Dangers of Private Water Parks

The mother is making beds, collecting laundry and in general making a desperate attempt to make her home appear sanitary. Curlylocks is downstairs finishing her lunch and Stripperella is playing in the room next to the mother.

"Splash, splash, splash"

The mother's eyes grow huge. There is only one place where Stripperella can get water, and that is the toilet in the hall bathroom. The same bathroom where Curlylocks had gone potty and then not flushed due to the "if it's yellow, let it mellow" water conservation program that the mother had implemented.

"Oh GOOD GOD", the mother exclaimed as she dashed towards the bathroom nearly killing herself as she hit the bathmat upon entering the bathroom, one leg going forward the other flinging to the side in an instinctive attempt to regain her balance. A technique which failed miserably as the mother continued her momentum feet first landing with a very ungracious crash on her back side next to Stripperella and the toilet. Her side flung limb crashing off of the cabinets and then nailing the toilet with a sickening thud.

Stripperella is armpit deep into the bowl and splashing urine tainted toilet water over the seat and floor and now her mother. The mother's sudden and loud appearance startled Stripperella and in an instinctive motion of self comfort started to put her urine soaked fingers into her mouth.

"NNOOOOOOOO!” The mother shrieked as she climbed off the floor to grab Stripperella's arm which was mere millimeters from the first stomach lurching suck.

The mother then staggered to her feet, amazed that her one leg is still capable of supporting weight and shoved Stipperella's tainted arm under the faucet and holding her in place with one knee reaches with all her might to the neighboring sink for the soap. 3 minutes of scrubbing later she releases Stripperella and focuses her attention on the toilet. Scrubbing and flushing all the nastiness away.

The mother has decided that water conservation is all well and good, but there is something to be said for hygiene. Whereas she might have saved 3 gallons of water in not flushing she probably used 5 in cleaning up the after math. Some days simple math tells the story.

D.E. Mongomery is a member of CharlotteMommies and the author of “The Adventures of Curlylocks and Stripperella: A Modern Mother’s Tale” which is available on and the author’s E store at:

Visit her fan page at:

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