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Monday, September 28, 2009

Stripperella Gets in Touch with Nature

It's a beautiful day and the mother decides to spend some time outside with her young charge. The air is cool and clean and the light breeze refreshes the mother's mood. She begins to relax.

Stripperella is sitting on the porch with sidewalk chalk, talking away.

"shalk, shalk, shalk, shalk"

From the bush a throaty voice calls back

"shalk, shalk, shalk"

Stripperella pauses in her artistic endeavors, looks up at her mother and sees that her mother isn't talking.

She goes back to her art, and once again begins her monologue

"shalk, shalk, shalk"

"SHALK" the bush voice yells back.

Stripperella is now annoyed. Nobody mocks her! Nobody! She throws down the chalk, breaking it in half, which further infuriates her. She lets out a squeal of anger


"EEEEHH" the bush throws back.

Stripperella is red in the face now, her chalk broken and being mocked by a holly bush is just too much for a 2 year old to tolerate. She whips off her shoes and marches over to that darn bush, little bare soles smacking the brick surface, chubby cheeks vibrating with indignation.

Then she starts cussing that bush out, finger wagging. Although the words are unrecognizable to the English language the meaning is clear and could be translated thusly:

"Shut up stupid bush, just SHUT UP! I am the Goddess of my domain and I will be treated with the respect accorded to that position. My daddy has saws; don't make me have him mulch you."

Suddenly a large gray Mockingbird hops into view in the bush.

"Shalk" it says.

Stripperella lunges at the bird, shrieking in rage, hindered only by her mother's desperate leap to grab her before Stripperella toppled headfirst off of the porch and into the holly. Meanwhile the Mockingbird flies off into the upper canopy, seemingly unconcerned by his brush with the rage of Stripperella.

D.E. Mongomery is a member of CharlotteMommies and the author of “The Adventures of Curlylocks and Stripperella: A Modern Mother’s Tale” which is available on and the author’s E store at:

Visit her fan page at:

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